


a song for a scribbled out name (none of us is going back)

by wintercanwait



Category: Fantastic Four (Movieverse), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Olympics, Alternate Universe - Sports, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-30 01:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintercanwait/pseuds/wintercanwait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Olympics AU. Loki was 19 when he injured his ankle during the final run in Beijing. It's 2010 and a lot has happened since then. Loki lives in Norway now and is trying to forget about his dreams. Tony, on the other hand, becomes obsessed and is willing to do anything to get Loki back on tracks. In the meantime the London 2012 Olympics are getting closer and closer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (prologue) like a star fallen to the ground

**Author's Note:**

> I started this a while back when the memories from London 2012 were still fresh in my head (and believe me, I was obsessed with the Olympics, I always am). I decided to mix my two biggest obsessions at the time and that's how The Avengers Olympics AU came to live. I have some parts written already but please, don't hold your breath for the weekly updates. I hope you'll enjoy this.
> 
> Oh, and please, forgive me my mistakes, English is obviously not my native language. If you notice anything, please, let me know. If you want to beta read it for me, please, let me know, too :)

He missteps. Only a little bit but his ankle twists at a wrong angle and cracks. The sound is so loud in his ears that he’s sure the whole stadium must hear it too. It lasts milliseconds before he falls onto the track but for him—for him it lasts the whole eternity, it’s like the whole universe stops and everything happens in a slow motion. He almost, _almost_ doesn’t feel the pain, running high on adrenaline and he almost laughs when he finally hits the track, but then he’s too busy fighting tears that are filling his eyes when his brain catches up and pain is suddenly too overwhelming. He’s only vaguely aware of ninety thousand people cheering for the winner that is not him, so very not him that he wants to scream.

He doesn’t. He shuts his eyes close instead because maybe if he doesn’t see them they won’t see him and the whole world won’t watch him cry silently, right there on the Beijing National Stadium tracks.

 

•

 

“Pep!”

Tony’s voice sounds like he’s a kid on a sugar high and Pepper finds herself remembering the way he ran around a room pretending he can fly when they were little and her mother let Tony eat one too many chocolates batons. She always had a soft spot for Tony, her mother, Pepper thinks with a smile.

“Hello, Tony. How are the Olympics?”

“Well, I’m going to assume you’ve already heard about the divers and just skip that, and go straight to the point where I tell you that we should do this whole Olympics thing more often because it’s awesome,” he says. Pepper thinks he must be on the Olympic Stadium or at one of the other Olympic facilities as there is a lot of noises in the background that sound suspiciously like cheering. 

“Actually, we do, Tony. But the Olympics are once in four years, remember?”

“Then we should sponsor the Winter Olympics, too! Oh, and I hope we are the sponsor of London 2012 because I kind of sort of told the press that we are. And hey, are you watching? Of course you’re not watching. Pep, turn on the TV right now, men’s 400 meters hurdles is about to start! Are you watching, yet?”

“Yes, Tony, I’m watching. Oh, wow, is that Loki? The freakishly tall, absolutely gorgeous kid on the fifth race track, yes? My God, Tony, you didn’t exaggerate, he’s a piece of art or something, he should be a model or a movie star,” she says watching the camera stop on the nineteen year old USA representative.

“A porn star,” Tony deadpans and Pepper is thorn between laughing and rolling her eyes. “Joking aside, I want him as our face for the next Olympics campaign,” he adds and this statement actually manages to surprise her.

“Wow, Tony, that’s… Wow… What about Rhodey? Shouldn’t you be rooting for him, here?” she teases, but it’s only a half joke. Tony and Rhodey are best friends since high school, it’s Tony who encouraged him to ditch football in favour of running and the Stark Industries has been his main sponsor ever since.

“Um, well, I am, of course I am,” Tony says, visibly flustered. “But how awesome it would be if Loki-- Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he interrupts himself the same moment Pepper’s hand covers her mouth and she whispers, “Oh my God.”

 

•

 

[excerpt from an interview]

LO: No, I was not—I am not prepared to beat the World Record in the final. In all honesty, I was not prepared to run as fast as I did. I mean, I have never, literally never ran that fast, my personal best could have qualified me for a semifinal at best, but I wouldn’t—shouldn’t dream of running in the final with what I could do before the Olympics. (pause, Loki seems to think about something, he smiles) Come on, Phil, you can ask me, I know you want to.

PC: About what?

LO: About doping. I know it’s inevitable. There will always be questions when someone does what I did. Especially when this someone is nineteen and has a history I have. 

PC: You’re referring to your one year disqualification, correct?

LO: Yes, I was fifteen and stupid. I had my reasons of course and they were far more complicated than a simple want of winning. Back then they felt like entirely valid and justified reasons, you know? But I learned my lesson and while I cannot exactly say I would never do that, since we all know I already did, I like to think I am smart enough not to repeat this mistake ever again. So no, I have not taken any banned substances.

 

•

 

He doesn’t remember much of that night after the medical team comes to aid him off the track. He’s sure he managed to glance at the board and see that James Rhodes won the gold for the US as he was supposed to before Loki came along, and that he saw him running around with the flag and had to bite his lip hard not to scream. He thinks he felt Scott Summers' hand on his arm before he ran off to join Rhodey in their celebratory run, but he didn’t look up because more than anything else right now he couldn’t bear to see pity in anyone’s eyes.

He remembers the standing ovation he received from the audience and a slight movement of his hand that barely passed as a wave when the medical team carried him off the stadium. He remembers that whatever he did the tears just wouldn’t stop falling.

 

•

 

[Loki’s cell phone, 2008, August 19]

28 missed calls  
32 text messages

Thor: it was a fine battle, brother. i will see you in a hospital.

Darcy: fuck, fuck, fuck. are you ok? call me!

Darcy: no, srsly, call me asap, i’m dying here.

Darcy: oh, you’re a hero, btw. internet loves you.

Clint: hope you’re ok, man. everyone’s worried.

Darcy: please, someone, whoever is in charge of loki’s cell, call me.

Natasha: Fuck. Are you ok? I’ll be at a hospital as soon as I can. They want my blood sample.

Natasha: Oh, and I owe you fifty bucks.

Darcy: oh, thanks, loki’s mom. get him to call me when he wakes up.

Clint: ‘m going to use your laptop to watch porn while you’re not here.

Natasha: This moron just wanted to cheer you up. I’ll beat him to death with a spoon, don’t worry.

Clint: just kidding! make tasha stop!

James: Sorry. Hope you’re ok. It should be you.

 

•

 

[www.theguardian.co.uk./sport/blog/2008/aug/28/beijing-2008-most-dramatic-moments]

**6\. Loki Odinson fall in Men’s 400 meters Hurdles Final**

I must admit that was indeed one of the most painful moments at the 2008 Olympics, watching this outstanding young athlete fall on the track, with his face twisted in pain. Many people cried along with him when he was carried off the stadium by a medical team, he’s dreams and hopes crushed within milliseconds. And while we can sit here and tell the old, good, comforting tale in which it’s not the end of the world because he’s young and he will have another chance, for him the world kind of ended a little in that moment.

Why did I choose Loki Odinson’s fall as one of the most dramatic moments of the Olympics? Well, the 19-year old American made a significant impression on most of people, and that includes viewers and spectators as well as commentators and other sportsmen. After his remarkable performances in the qualification round and semifinal, he was viewed by most not only as potentially the strongest candidate for the gold medal but also as a charming young man everyone just had to fall for. His young age, charming, a little shy smile, mischievous spark in his eyes and an easy way in which he talked to the press soon made him everyone’s favourite. In a manner of two days he went all the way from this relatively unknown American athlete (who, by the way, was in Beijing only because Johnny Storm was reckless and broke a leg two weeks before the Olympics) to someone who was about to break the World Record. He was flawless and graceful and you just couldn’t not to love him. It’s completely understandable that most of us, viewers, took his drama very personally.

 

•

 

“I do not wish to go home,” Loki says in a blank, completely emotionless tone of voice. He’s sitting on a bed, his hands folded on his lap, fingers fidgeting with a blanket that covers his legs, head dropped down so his mother doesn’t see that he’s biting his bottom lip. She doesn’t need to, though, she knows anyway.

“Loki,” she says, stopping the packing for a moment, and goes to sit on a bad with him. “Loki, look at me,” she pleads but all he can do is shake his head and say, “Please, mother.”

So they don’t go home, not right away, anyway. They go to London instead and stay for a week under pretence of visiting his childhood city. Then Frigga takes him to Paris because he earned himself a good shopping and then she rents a car and takes him for a road trip. By the time they finally make it to New York Loki can go through a day without painkillers, he doesn’t cry every morning and the only thing that’s really wrong is the fact that he’s yet to face his father. But when he leaves an airport behind he thinks he should be okay.

 

•

 

[excerpt from an interview]

I want to conquer the world. I want everyone to fall to their knees before me like they do for Usain Bolt. I want to—I want to live forever.  
~Loki Odinson for _The Times_ , 2008, 17 August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prologue title from _As you fall_ by Bent.


	2. my scream got lost in a paper cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a little coffee shop in Oslo, a late night Skype calls, a stalker and Pepper designing an altar on a paper napkin. And everything seems to be happening way too fast for all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind comments and kudos, it really means a lot.
> 
> A little graphic somethings in this chapter are made by me. For the needs of the story I moved the premiere of ballet _Is-slottet_ in time. And I know absolutely nothing about Oslo.

In his dreams he can fly. Almost seven months of constant falling and he finally learned how to fly. He almost believes everything’s possible. So long as he doesn’t try running, that’s it. It was painful and difficult, but he learned how to let it go and forget, the same way he learned how to stop falling and fly in those rare nights he can just close his eyes and fall asleep, without memories taking advantage on his weakness and creeping into his mind to hunt him with shadows of the dreams he once had.

And what a dreams they were, carefully laid plans with details worthy of the best strategists. He still have it written down and buried somewhere along with his past. The plan doesn’t go on forever, it ends with London 2012 and it ends with a gold medal. But it doesn’t matter, not anymore. It’s nearly two years after Beijing and he did not run once ever since. He lives in Oslo now and instead of winning his first World Championship and getting drunk out of his ass with Clint, Tasha and Darcy, he’s struggling to finish his freshman year at the local university. He’s trying to reconcile studying with work and it’s harder than he thought, but the urge of just ditch some class isn’t that big because his grades really need to be as high as possible for him to keep his scholarship. He’s working in a little coffee shop and in a bookstore nearby, and he’s getting almost no sleep at all. Sigyn, his friend from the university who got him a job in a bookstore, won’t shut up about how thin he looks, but he usually manages to pull a convincing enough lie about always being skinny and having fast metabolism. Yes, at least lying is what he’s still good at.

He hasn’t spoken to his father or brother since the day he left, two weeks after he got back from Beijing, hurt and broken, only to hear that he’s a disappointment, that the whole country was counting on him but he proved himself nothing but worthless yet again. Loki didn’t even wait long enough for his ankle to heal properly before getting the hell out of there. He spent a few weeks at Tasha and Clint’s apartment and then one more at Darcy’s before his mother finally found him. He’s still not sure how he ended up in Norway of all places, though. 

Frigga is one of only a handful of people back home he still speaks to. Well, _handful_ is probably an overstatement since it’s only her, Darcy and Natasha, his best friend forever since that one day in the middle of summer when he was five and she found him crying on a playground, because Thor got distracted and forgot they were playing hide and seek. They talk at least once a week, sometimes more when Loki feels particularly lonely or Tasha wins another meeting. His relationship with Darcy is more complicated one. They tried dating which worked for about ten minutes before they both cracked down laughing at the idea of kissing each other. He talks to Darcy almost constantly via one app or another.

He calls his mother once or twice every month and always manages to _forget_ to call her more often. It’s his thing, he lies well enough but Frigga can read him as an open book and it’s hard to hide how much he misses things he can’t have, shouldn’t want to have anymore.

“How are you, Loki?” his mother always asks and he always says he’s fine but he also always knows she never believes him.

“How is school, Loki?” she asks then and he smiles and says it’s good, great even, he likes his psychology professor, she’s nice and she likes him, really likes _him_ , and that he’s making a presentation for his Norse Mythology classes and it’s supposed to be about something personal, so he thinks he can squeeze Thor in a dress somewhere there. His mother laughs at that and Loki thinks of how terribly he misses her.

“How is work, Loki?” Frigga asks and Loki tells her about the last coffee he invented and this customer who wanted to buy the whole _Twilight_ saga for her eleven year old daughter, but thankfully he convinced her to buy some Pratchett instead. His mother giggles when she tells him that she finally watched the fourth movie, and Loki groans because really, mother, really?

“Your brother—,” she starts, but he cuts her off and says that yes, he watched his last game and Thor was great but please, mother, don’t say him that he has said that.

“Loki—,” his mother says then, her voice quiet, no more than a whisper, and he knows it’s time to go or else every wall he built around himself those past two years will be threatened to fall. So he thinks of another lie, another thing he has to do now, even if it’s three o’clock in the morning. He pretends he doesn’t hear desperation in her voice when she asks him to call her sooner this time. He says softly, “I love you, mother,” before he hangs up, buries himself in blankets and tries not to cry.

 

•

 

from: virginia.potts@stark-industries.com  
to: jane.foster@unm.edu

subject: it’s not a spam, please, don’t throw it away, it’s about Loki, it’s important!

 

Dear Miss Foster,

You don’t know me, obviously, but we might have mutual friends. Or friends of our friends are friends of your friends or something like that. Anyway, my name is Virginia Potts and I am the co-CEO of the Stark Industries (and also Mr. Stark’s babysitter but let’s keep that one between the two of us). I was informed by an anonymous source (namely every single newspaper in this country, majority of the sport and gossip sites, the TV etc.) that you are dating a man that can be my only hope for finding Loki Odinson. See, Mr. Stark won’t agree for anyone else to be the face of our sport division’s Olympic campaign. He and I have been looking for him for the last two years. I assure you that we have only his wellbeing in mind (also, Mr. Stark is obsessed and won’t ~~let me~~ rest until he’ll see Mr. Odinson winning the freaking Olympic gold medal, no, seriously, I’m not joking), so if you know something, anything, about his current place of residence, we’d be very grateful if you’d agree to meet us (or me, probably me) for coffee.

 

Yours sincerely,

Pepper Potts

 

P.S. Mr. Stark is also very impressed with your research, Ms. Foster, and I’m sure he would be happy to discuss it with you over ~~coffee~~ drinks one day.

___________

 

from: Jane Foster <jane.foster@unm.edu>  
to: Virginia “Pepper” Potts <virginia.potts@stark-industries.com>

subject: it’s your lucky day

 

Dear Miss Potts,

He’s in Oslo. Try Jotunheim Café. You’re welcome. Bring him home or at very least get him to call Thor. You don’t know it from me.

I’d be very happy to talk to Mr. Stark when he will be in the neighbourhood. 

 

Jane F.

 

•

 

[advertisement placed in front of the Jotunheim Café in Oslo, Norway]

•

 

It’s a late evening in on absolutely normal, utterly boring Tuesday in the middle of June. Loki is dozing off behind the counter of a small coffee shop in Oslo, while trying to read something for his Philosophy exam. It’s only half an hour before he will finally close the shop and go home, when he hears someone opening the door. He doesn’t even look up when he takes a paper cup, ready to write an order and asks politely, “What can I get you, sir?”

“Black coffee with some tasty syrup, you can surprise me, and— Well, whatever coffee you like because you look like you need it. Badly,” a man speaks with a voice that makes Loki’s head pound when all the oh so carefully hidden memories are rushing into the surface, making him more dizzy than he already is, with a voice that makes Loki lift his head and blink slowly.

Loki isn’t sure what he should do when he sees Tony Stark standing there, in a place he thought to be safe from his past and so well hidden no one would ever find him, smiling at him with his full-teeth signature smile. He wonders a little if Stark’s presence in this specific coffee shop in Oslo is evidence that Tasha finally lost all patience she had for him and his drama or if it’s only a mere coincidence. Loki doesn’t really believe in coincidences, he has, however, a very developed paranoia (and some other personality disorders, his therapist is having a blast every time he calls her). He plays with the idea of asking, but dismisses it quickly and slowly starts preparing one of his signature coffees, deciding to just play along for the time being.

“Here you go, Mr. Stark,” he says, handing him Americano with an odd mix of syrups and chocolate, a coffee he invented by accidently adding strawberry syrup to coffee with blueberry one and chocolate. He’s kind of famous for this one around the campus.

“And where’s your coffee—,” he pauses, making a show of looking at his nametag, “Loki. Loki—,” Stark cuts himself off again, his eyes going theatrically wide and Loki almost rolls his eyes, pretty sure it’s only for his benefit and Stark knew perfectly well who he was the moment he walked inside, if not before. “Wait, you’re him, aren’t you? This American athlete, 400 meters hurdles? Loki, Loki Odinson, right?”

Loki stiffens the moment words leave Stark’s mouth. There are so many responses he can go with. He can deny it altogether and say he only resembles him a little. He can tell Stark that it’s none of his business because well, it isn’t. He can make a joke or something, say anything, something that will make a man to leave him alone. But when he finally opens his mouth to answer, the only thing that leaves his mouth is “It’s Laufeyson now,” before he hands Stark his credit card back and retreats into his corner to finish his reading.

 

•

 

[Pepper’s cell phone, 2010, June 15]

Tony: I’m rethinking this whole thing right now. He’s a fucking coffee genius.  
Me: Who? Loki?  
Tony: Yup. It’s like he has some kind of coffee superpowers. He’s a coffee wizard or something.  
Me: So you’re finally ready to call this whole thing off?  
Tony: Are you crazy? His coffee is a fucking heaven but he has the Olympics to win.  
Me: I knew it was too good to be true. But hey, you can always marry him and got his coffee for free.  
Tony: You are a wicked woman, Pepper Potts.  
Me: I love you too, Tony.

 

•

 

[excerpt from an interview]

NR: I’ve known Loki since we were little kids, actually. I was, well, I suppose you can call me a ‘secret friend’. It’s like, you know, the other kids have imaginary friends? Loki got himself a secret friend. It was an epic friendship, back then. I miss him, you know. 

PC: So how about the rumours that he ran off to Africa or Tibet, any of them true?

NR: (laugh) Oh no, no, he— Well, I still talk to him every few days. He needs time to deal with some pretty messed up personal stuff, you know. It was a hard time for him after what happened in Beijing and then all the shit at home, I would run off too. But I can assure you he’s not lost in Africa and he’s not meditating in Tibet.

PC: Good to know. Will he come back, though? We all miss him.

NR: You mean, we all miss seeing his great ass on the tracks? (wink) I don’t know. I really hope so, it would be good for him, he really does love competing and I’m sure he misses it. But I can’t say. With Loki, you never know.

PC: Don’t worry, we’ll make a petition and he’ll be back. Oh, I know! A twitter revolution!

NR: Um. Loki? Come back! See what your absence does to Phil?

PC: Well, I think we can wrap this up here, I have a revolution to plan and lead after all. You coming?

NR: Oh God.

 

•

 

Stark is back the next morning, asking for “Whatever you conjured me up yesterday because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t exist in the real world and you’re a coffee wizard or something. I think I’ll have to buy you.”

He looks all nonchalant and like he doesn’t remember Loki’s rudeness from the day before and, surprisingly enough, Loki is grateful for that. Stark walks in only a few minutes after Loki and Freya open the place, all smiles, nice comments and compliments. He bubbles when Loki fixes his drink, talks about buying Loki’s skills, this café, hell, the whole Oslo if necessary. Loki rolls his eyes in response and does his best not to smile with this soft, affectionate smile he doesn’t remember he owns. He’s still not in a good mood, far from it, but he tries his best to be nice, or as nice as he gets anyway.

Stark stays for half an hour and Loki can feel his carefully constructed world changing rapidly around him, letting a sudden, unknown form of warmth overcome the cold he became so used to in those last two years. He cannot decide if it annoys him or if he actually enjoys it, which is extremely unsettling.

Stark doesn’t get himself a table. He stays exactly where Loki is, leaning on the counter when Loki stays next to the register and walking when Loki goes to prepare coffee. He doesn’t seem to know when— no, not when, _how_ to shut up; he’s constantly talking, to the point when Loki wonders if he ever needs to breathe. He’s talking absolute bullshit, jumping from one topic to another and is at the fourth when a normal person registers the first one, asking Loki about his studies and not waiting for an answer before getting on with flirting with Freya. It’s a good thing Loki’s fast not only on tracks and can follow Stark’s train of thoughts. Well, most of the time anyway. It takes him thirty minutes to notice that the whole flirting-with-Freya thing is the only thing that actually irritates him, but not enough to make Stark leave and never come back. And believe him when Loki says he could do it in one sentence. He doesn't, though, and maybe it’s because having Stark here feels a little bit like home, which doesn’t even make any sense since Loki has never met him before. He only saw Stark a handful of times when he was talking to Rhodey or coaches or one of the officials. But of course Loki doesn’t want to go there, so he just smiles and prepares coffee after coffee, listening to Stark’s voice and taking advantage of the first really warm feeling he had in last few years.

He would never admit it, but when Stark leaves the café, Loki kind of hopes that he will be back the next morning.

 

•

 

He meets Pepper the next afternoon when she walks in to retrieve Tony.

“It’s Tony. I’m going to buy you, you can’t keep calling me by my last name!” Tony said this morning and Loki smiled mischievously before saying, “As you wish, Anthony,” at which Tony groaned loudly and Loki chuckled quietly, turning away to make himself another strawberry latte.

She’s pretty pissed off, he can tell by all the yelling she’s doing in a hushed voice; and he didn’t even know it’s possible to yell while whispering, but apparently Virginia Potts but please, call her Pepper, is a woman of many talents. It only takes him a few seconds to gather that they’re supposed to be on this environmental conference or something, the information helping with his paranoia a little bit. Pepper is furious because some presentation is about to begin in ten minutes and there is no way in hell they’re going to make it. 

Tony laughs it off, of course, and asks Loki to prepare something special for her. Loki rolls his eyes ostentatiously, Pepper huffs exasperatedly and Freya smirks in amusement, which only makes Tony laugh all that much harder. And so he makes an extra effort and prepares a large orange latte macchiato with a bit of pineapple and banana flavoured syrups and whipped cream with a cherry on top.

“You’re my new god,” Pepper exclaims after Tony makes her eat all of the cream and try her coffee before they go. After a first sip Pepper looks like she’s in heaven and Loki feels a warm feeling spreading somewhere in his chest. “Oh my God, no seriously, I’m going to build you an altar and worship you. Or better, I’m going to kidnap you. Yes, that’s my new plan.”

He laughs and Tony says there’s no need for kidnapping because they’re going to buy him anyway. Loki doesn’t remember laughing so hard and freely in a very long time, maybe even before the accident. And it’s somehow easier to go back to studying after they finally leave with a promise to come back later.

“You should be prepared,” Tony says in confidential whisper like he’s relying some top secret information to him. “When we come back, she’s going to have _notes_ and she’s going to ask you like million questions. Or you know what? You should just run and hide. But call me, we don’t want you to go missing again,” Tony says and which Loki frowns.

“Again?” he asks and he’s tempted to probe about the r-word, but it would classify him as even more paranoid than he already knows he is, so he pretends that asking about the again part of the sentence doesn’t, and smiles when Tony mumbles something and follows Pepper out before Loki can ask another uncomfortable question. Or at least that’s the impression he gets. Or maybe it’s just his paranoia.

He doesn’t run of course, that would be silly, but he’s done with the last chapter sooner than he expected which gives him time to invent his new masterpiece: café macchiato with a mix of banana, almond and cinnamon vanilla flavoured syrups, all sugar free and with soy milk. It’s so good that his boss contemplates giving him a rise, Freya is literally moaning around the cup, and Pepper makes Tony give Loki the highest tip ever and goes straight to designing his altar on a paper napkin. And Tony looks like he can’t stop grinning.

 

•

 

[Pepper’s calendar, 2012, June 21]

•

 

Tony doesn’t go to the Jotunheim Café on Tuesday morning because Pepper won’t let him out of her sight. And the worst part is that after he sort of ditched the members of the European Parliament in favour of a trip to the coast with Loki the last afternoon (and no, he still doesn't know how the hell that happened), he can’t really blame her. It’s a serious shit he pulled off this time, so he eats his breakfast and drinks his coffee in a hotel restaurant, even if this coffee doesn’t taste anything like a coffee anymore, because Tony is ruined for life and he will really have to buy Loki. 

But anyway, he eats his breakfast and drinks his coffee with Pepper, and then sits nicely through two presentations and doesn’t bat an eyelid. She rewards him (really, like he’s a kid and she’s his babysitter rewarding him for being a good boy) by letting him go for a coffee during a lunch break after he solemnly swears to be back for the Poland presentation. For a brief moment Tony wonders if perhaps he should sit this one out, because it has only been like six days since they’re in Oslo and he’s already far too invested. But then again, he was probably too invested two years ago before this whole mess even started so. He throws a hurried “See you later, Pep,” and proceeds to break all the laws he can to get to the coffee shop on time. 

And then he walks in and there’s Freya and some other girl and Loki is nowhere to be found, and Tony panics.

 

•

 

He’s late for the Poland presentation, of course he’s fucking late, but it’s not his fault that he didn’t bother to ask Loki about his schedule. Well, maybe technically it is, but then he can’t be blamed that a bookstore Loki works at is like fifty streets over. Well, three. But it’s not the point. The point is Tony is totally ready call the whole thing off. No, really, he came here to make friends with Loki, to coax him out of hiding and convince him to try the whole being an athlete thing again. Developing some sort of feelings for the guy? Definitely not a part of his plan. No, he’s Tony Stark, he doesn’t do feelings.

And yet, there are three frantic text messages on Pepper’s phone, far more desperate than they have any right to be, to account for the fact that there very well may be something between him and probably the most gorgeous barista of all times. To add salt to the wound he’s pretty sure Freya would witness against him on this trial; after all she almost laughed herself dead watching his very embarrassing almost panic attack, before she took pity on him and told him about Loki’s second job.

He found a bookstore two streets away, just like Freya told him, and tried to make it look like it’s just a coincidence. Of course it didn’t work because Tony has very poor relationship with traditional books and his eyes never stopped on any shelf for long enough to make it look like he was really looking for something. He also might have been biting his lower lip and probably looked utterly uncomfortable trying to pretend to be interested in old and rare books. No, it never stood a chance of being anything but a really poorly performed act.

“What are you doing here?” Loki asked then, apparently finding something akin to mercy in his heart, and Tony let the relief show on his face for all three milliseconds before he caught himself and said, “Looking for something?”

Loki laughed then, shook his head and said, “No, you’re not.” Still smiling he motioned on Tony to follow him. “I’m taking my break now, Sygin!” he yelled at the girl at the register who only waved at him impatiently.

When he slides into his seat next to Pepper, apologizing frantically, he lets it slip that Loki is really living up to his name and he’s a freaking god of mischief who made him the best tea Tony had ever drunk and forced him to buy a book of Yeats’ poetry and then made him promise to call and share his thoughts. Pepper makes fun of him for the whole duration of the presentation, but before they leave she looks at him with half serious look and asks if he thinks that Loki feels like being stalked yet. 

 

•

 

[excerpt from an interview]

VP: I’m aware that Mr. Stark’s decision about opening a sport division seems a bit weird but the Stark Industries has been involved in sport for a very long time, founding sport clubs and children sport education, sponsoring the Olympics and the FIFA World Cup. In a way, it’s just another step in this particular direction

CE: Well, many things can be said about Tony Stark and I will probably just state the obvious here when I say that he doesn’t like to limit himself, does he?

VP: (laugh) No, he does not. I mean, he proved that much when he closed all of his company’s weapons manufacturing divisions in one swift move, _not giving a damn_ , as he put it, about the public opinion, about the support of the government and his father’s legacy. Many thought he lost his mind, _I_ was horrified, but two months later the Stark Industries was _the_ leader of the clean energy market.

CE: To be honest, Ms. Potts, the world was expecting something new from him. It has been a while since he made any changes in the company’s structures. He sort of buried himself in his lab, emerging only to cause another scandal or attend the Olympics. Something happened there, didn’t it? And we both know I’m not talking about the divers here.

VP: (uncomfortably) A lot of things happened during the Olympics. It was the first time Tony witnessed people’s dreams come true or be broken in matter of seconds with his own eyes, the first time he was there and almost touched it himself. It was bound to make an impact. I cannot tell if there’s one specific event that consolidated his decision, but I may tell you that he was thinking about it for a while. Then came the Olympics and Tony came back ready to work on this project.

CE: Will James Rhodes be involved? He’s Mr. Stark’s best friend, and now when he’s about to retire from the competitive sport he would be an expected choice for the division’s chairman.

VP: No personnel decisions have been made yet, but I’m sure Rhodey will be involved in some way. As will be many other sportsmen and specialists.

CE: What about Mr. Stark?

VP: He has already started working on electronic judging systems for FIFA that FIFA doesn’t know they want to buy.

CE: So technology, as expected. Something else he wants to touch personally? I sort of have a feeling there’s more in this than Tony Stark wanting to own FIFA.

VP: Well. Yes. When he’s finished with FIFA he’s going to start designing shoes.

 

•

 

“I’m fairly sure Tony Stark is stalking me,” he blurs out the moment Natasha’s face appears on the screen.

It’s Friday night when he finally panics and calls Tasha. He’s confused and doesn’t know why the hell his hands are shaking so badly, but he’s sure it has something to do with the way Stark looked at him today—a little too intensive, too long, a bit too thoughtful—and with his highly suspicious visit on Loki’s campus yesterday afternoon. He can’t decide if he should be flattered or frightened, and it scares the hell out of him, because come on, you’re supposed to be afraid of your stalker, right?

Natasha answers a call after only two rings and Loki almost hangs up, his finger shaking, only millimetres from his laptop’s touchpad, milliseconds away from disconnecting the call. It’s only by sheer willpower that he moves his hand without touching anything.

“Come again?” Tasha asks, surprised.

“I feel like Tony fucking Stark is stalking me. I mean, he’s everywhere! First my café, and yes, yes, he’s currently my best customer and his tips are going to make my living easier for the next six months and no, I’m not exaggerating. And Pepper designed me an altar. On a bloody napkin! I don’t even know, Tasha. Then he found me in the bookstore. And yesterday after my exam, I found him waiting for me in my favourite spot under this large oak. And I don’t believe I’ve ever told him that I have an exam in the first place! Today I was scared to unlock the door to my own dorm room because I was sure I’ll find him there, sitting on my couch and grinning like an idiot!”

“Hey, hey, Loki, slow down! Breathe!” Tasha says, laughing at him when he takes a shuddering breath and pretends to pout for a few seconds. “Start from the beginning. Tony Stark is in Oslo? What is he doing in Oslo? Apart from stalking you, obviously,” she adds quickly when he opens his mouth with visible exaggeration.

“Pepper says they’re at some kind of a symposium or a conference or something, but I think it’s only an excuse,” he concludes. “I mean, I researched it. It’s in completely different part of the city, their hotel is practically next to the conference centre and there is absolutely no reason for him to be at my café,” Loki explains. 

He wants to believe it’s all a coincidence and he wants to believe it’s all genuine and real, but the facts and the odds, as usual, are definitely not in his favour here. And hey, remember this weird relationship thing he has with paranoia? Also, Tony Stark doesn’t seem to be someone who just shows up in a place like Oslo and accidently wanders into probably the only person in the entire city whose name he knows. And his interest in Loki’s life is really, really unusual and a little creepy. Besides Loki has had a feeling something was seriously off in this situation since the moment Tony walked into his café. No, Loki doesn’t believe in big scale coincidences like that, he just doesn’t.

“Maybe he likes you?” Tasha suggests hesitantly, fully aware that a) Loki is not going to buy this, and b) she’s pulling a dirty move on him here, bringing up one of his many, many issues, at which Loki is not able to swallow a bitter laugh that escapes his throat at the thought. No one ever liked him besides Tasha, Darcy and his mother, maybe some teachers because he was clever, and maybe Clint. 

And yeah, he maybe a pathological liar but he’s perfectly capable of being honest with himself, so he is not going to pretend that he doesn’t wish secretly for it to be true, for Tony to like him for real. An annoying and unwanted spark of hope feels warm in his chest, like a candle flame between his palms on a winter night when a storm causes a power cut, and it’s something he hasn’t felt for so very long time that maybe he can allow himself not to think about coincidences and Tony Stark’s plots, and to actually enjoy it while it lasts.

“Well, I'm pretty sure it's not the case, but I admit that I didn’t have so much fun in a long time, so I think I’m not going to try to get a restraining order against him just yet,” he says as nonchalantly as he can, and they both grin at each other at that.

“Listen, I have to go now but I’ll be in Stockholm in August, maybe you could come and see me? You can get a few days off, right? Perhaps I can get you a pass,” she adds and his smile falters, he’s averting his eyes and Natasha is sighing, the old ritual they have for this kind of questions already in motion.

“I—,” he starts and licks his lips, raises his hand to rub his eyes tiredly and bite his tongue before he can do something stupid, like say yes. “I’m sorry, Tasha. I can be in Stockholm to see you, I really miss you. But I don’t—I can’t—,” he trails off and Natasha waves her hand dismissively before smiling with a sad smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“It’s okay, I get it,” she says and there is an awkward silence for a moment, and then Loki says his good bye before he can change his mind, because suddenly he does want to see Tasha win again and that is a luxury he cannot allowed himself, not yet.

 

•

 

There’s a world premiere of some Norwegian ballet in The National Norwegian Opera and Ballet on Saturday and of course Tony decides to take Loki. But only because the invitation is for two and Pepper got her own anyway, honest. And hey, he thinks he remembers reading somewhere that Loki loves ballet, has loved ballet since he was five years old and his mother was watching _Giselle_ or something on the TV. And maybe Tony doesn't exactly hate ballet but he has a feeling that this _Is-slottet_ or whatever won’t be his favourite performance ever, just a hunch, really, but it’s enough for an excuse. So, he’s going to get bored in five seconds and Pepper won’t let him talk, so he’s probably going to die there, so please, please, Loki, just say yes. Loki chuckles when Tony has to stop and actually breathe but agrees, blaming it on his insomnia and some call he had to make at two in the morning, on more than two years without a single ballet and yes, on Tony’s smile, are you happy, Stark?

This is exactly why the three of them—exasperated Paper, highly amused Tony and very uncomfortably-looking Loki—end up on a last minute shopping trip. They spend the whole morning watching Loki try a dozen different suits before they settle for a black Italian with green tie decorated with fine gold lines. Pepper smiles with this little, knowing smile of hers. Loki smiles back, biting his bottom lip gently and Tony cuts his bubbling and closes his mouth, completely speechless for what is probably the first time in his life, and has no idea how on Earth he is not kissing Loki right then and there.

Wait, what?

 

•

 

[Odinson Family Film Chronicles, video dated 1993, February 13]

Frigga is standing in the open door. A thick, yellow blanket is draped around her shoulders, a mug of streaming cocoa in her hand as she watches her sons adding a carrot as their snowman’s nose. She smiles when she watches Thor help Loki up after he falls into a specifically high mound, carefully wiping his face and making sure his little brother doesn’t get too much snow into his mouth. Loki giggles licking it fast from his lips anyway.

Frigga smiles.

“How many times I have to tell you not to eat snow, Loki?” asks Odin from behind the camera and Loki shifts from foot to foot trying to look ashamed and failing miserably. Odin chuckles amused. “Come on, boys, it’s getting colder. Mom made us all hot cocoa,” he says lifting Loki up and handing Thor the camera.

“With marshmallows?” Thor asks, shifting the camera in his hand and for a few seconds the screen is filled with snow, before it’s back on Odin and Loki who is already dozing off in Odin’s arms.

“With marshmallows,” Odin confirms and Thor screams, running to his mother. They stay like this for a few more moments, camera trained on Odin and Loki, speakers filled with squeaking sounds of snow under Odin’s boots, before Frigga takes it from Thor and cuts the video off.

 

•

 

[excerpt from an interview]

My mind is never still or quiet, it’s always moving. Fragmentary, unrelated scraps of thoughts and ideas are constantly bouncing against each other in a completely chaotic order, and when something catches my interest for longer than a few short minutes, I bounce right into it and cling to it for a dear life. It’s something that gives my mind a much needed rest. The last Olympics managed to do so. I have met many interested people, watched people wronged by the judging systems and cheated by faith or luck or whatever you want to call it; it’s time to change it. And let me tell you one thing: Tony Stark isn't tired of changing the world.  
~Tony Stark, for _Vanity Fair_ , February 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title is borrowed from _Silent All These Years_ by Tori Amos.

**Author's Note:**

> The form of the fic is inspired by _[Broken Keys](http://archiveofourown.org/works/498267)_ by punahukka.
> 
> Story title credits go to Florence & The Machines ( _Falling_ ) and Richard Siken.


End file.
